Last week 32/09
Last week 32/09 • Autor: Ilustrace – Pavel Reisenauer
autor: Pavel Reisenauer
autor: Pavel Reisenauer • Autor: Ilustrace – Pavel Reisenauer

A Siberian shaman kicked off the summer holidays in Telč with a cleansing ritual. The end of July brought tropical heat. The government accepted the citizens' request for a widespread anti-mosquito spraying around the Třeboň region. Foreign corporations started an exodus from the Czech Republic to the West. The Finance Ministry announced that next year's budget will be over 200 billion crowns short and if massive cuts are not made the situation will quickly slide downhill.
„Yeah, but what to do? We can't dip into pensions because there is a law against it, we have already fleeced education in the past and healthcare is already in the red, so it is difficult enough to imagine taking something out from anywhere,“ the Social Democrats' (ČSSD's) financial expert Jiří Havel said of the government's urgent call to save funding. 590 years have passed since Prague's defenestrations. Bricks grew less expensive. The US announced that it will not sacrifice its anti-missile radar shield in the Czech Republic and Poland for the sake of agreement with Russia on the reduction of nuclear warheads. The Prague Stock Exchange experienced its biggest growth since last October. French newspapers informed the public that President Nicolas Sarkozy ran in the hot sun and ended up in hospital with burns. The number of swine flu cases here in the Czech Republic has climbed to 63. Research by the Education Ministry revealed that an overwhelming majority of Czechs fear that when they grow old they will live in poverty, without medicine, in empty flats. Statisticians have calculated that the average pension in the Czech Republic will reach 10,000 crowns and healthcare costs will not exceed 400 crowns a month for pensioners.
„That, if you release it with the best intentions, it will return to you; and that if you think about it imploringly and do everything for it, it will escape you, because it doesn't want to come to you,“ said photographer Sára Saudková in answer to Lidový noviny's question „What is the most important thing you have learned in your life about money?“ Windstorms swept through the tourist campgrounds at Liščí Farma u Vrchlabí. The operators of outdoor swimming facilities have announced large losses. A Czech tourist left his group and disappeared without a trace on the eastern shore of Lake Baikal. A lorry accident blocked the Prague-Brno highway by Devět Křížů. The newly founded Obcane.cz website was abandoned because of doubts about the leadership capabilities of 20 percent of its members and party leader Petr Havlík said that he was relieved at the departure of such people. Bolek Polívka celebrated his 60th birthday.
„It upsets me that you don't believe me,“ former Industry Minister and current parliamentary deputy Milan Urban told Hospodářské noviny after they repeatedly asked him for proof that he paid for his own holiday this year in the luxurious Italian resort town of Monte Argentario, where journalists took photos of him on a yacht in the company of well known ČEZ lobbyist Vladimír Johanes and suspicions arose that the trip was a special „thank you“ to Urban from ČEZ for his recent efforts to push a bill through parliament giving ČEZ billions in carbon-emissions trade allowances; at the same time, another proponent of the multi-billion-crown gift, former Prime Minister Mirek Topolánek, also spent his holiday in Monte Argentario. Orlando Duque did the high jump in Hřiměždice. In Literární noviny, ČSSD (Social Democratic Party) head Jiří Paroubek warned US president Barack Obama that his country „can no longer play the role of the guardian of order in the world all by itself“ and that they must invite Russia to the endeavor and in a „concert of superpowers“ mutually respect the others interests.
„May the Lord God save us, the concert of superpowers has only ever worked briefly and then led to great conflicts,“ commented Foreign Minister Karel Schwarzenberg on Paroubek's statement. The prices of Czech cabins and cottages fell further. The Communists (KSČ) announced that they would be willing to repeat the 1989 apology for „past mistakes“ that they made at a KSČ convention after their fall from power, if the Social Democrats (ČSSD) accept them into the government after the elections. A five-year-old girl ran over her two-year-old brother with a lawnmower and cut off his leg. A European golf tournament has returned to Čeladná after 12 years. The Czech Republic fought its way to number one in the rankings of European nations where there are the fewest teetotalers and the most alcoholics. Moby played at Sázavafest. Scientists have determined that divorced people suffer chronic illnesses 20 percent more than people with uninterrupted marriages. Research carried out by the truconneXion organization revealed that Czechs fritter away a fifth of the working day on Facebook.

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