Last week 18/09
Last week 18/09 • Autor: Ilustrace - Pavel Reisenauer

Cherry trees blossomed. The media reported that Stephen Hawking had to be hospitalized in Cambridge, England because of a serious deterioration in his health. After black-and-white televisions and reel-to-reel tape recorders, statisticians decided to remove the radio/cassette player from the survey monitoring the standard of living of Czech families. Benzina introduced unattended filling stations. The International Monetary Fund amended its previous outlook on economic developments for the worse and issued a report projecting that this year the world economy would plunge into the deepest crisis since World War II. According to expert forecasts, the Czech budget deficit could reach 200 billion crowns this year. Hundreds of local neo-Nazis celebrated Adolf Hitler's birthday with a march through the center of Ústí nad Labem. Unknown perpetrators attacked the house of a Roma family in Vítkov, throwing Molotov cocktails that caused a fire in which a two-year-old girl suffered burns over 80 percent of her body; she is now fighting for her life in hospital.
„It is clear that there is a link between the political activation of extremists and the direct violence against residents. This spiral of evil must be severed in time,“ commented Prime Minister Mirek Topolánek. At the last minute, a university banned a lecture by David Duke, former Grand Wizard of the outlawed racist organization the Ku Klux Klan, who came from the US to promote the Czech edition of his book My Awakening at the invitation of local supporters. Mathematicians calculated that, despite all of the available technology and washers, dryers and electrical appliances, people spend on average just one hour and 20 minutes less on housework than they did five years ago. The Handa Göta theatre performed at Meet Factory in Prague.
„So far, they have only inundated trees by roads, but they may soon move into residential areas,“ Mladá fronta Dnes warned the public in its article „Insatiable Caterpillar Frightens Moravia“ about the threat of Brown-Tail Moth caterpillars, which have, like every year, descended on young pear and plum trees. The Environment Ministry started distributing the first money from a total of 10 billion crowns recently allocated by the government for a grandiose subsidy program, Zelená úsporám („Green Savings“), for insulating houses and buildings. Banks tightened mortgage conditions for recreational cottages. A new study by the sexology institute at Charles University (Univerzita Karlova) found that Czech men have an average of nine sexual partners during their lifetimes and Czech women five; according to the research, Czechs have sex about twice a week and the act lasts over half an hour. The Civic Democratic Party (ODS) celebrated its 18th birthday.
„Bluntly put: Mirek Topolánek became a traitor and collaborator: a traitor to the ideas, principles and policies on which the ODS was founded, and a collaborator with the Greens and Havel's left,“ said one of the party's founders, Miroslav Macek, using the occasion to assess the engagement of the current party chairman and outgoing prime minister. In order to plug a hole in the budget resulting from a lack of subsidies, Brno's Buranteatr began organizing a course for timid men, „How to Get a Woman,“ together with a practical final exam in the streets of the city. A concert dedicated to JB Foerster and Bohuslav Martinů closed the four-part „Pocta tvůrcům“ („Tribute to Composers“) series at the Rudolfinum in Prague. A York University study of where the happiest children are in Europe ranked the Czech Republic 16th; according to the study, the happiest children live in the Netherlands, Sweden and Norway, and the least happy in Latvia, Lithuania and Malta. Because of its ties to the current ruler of Russia, Topolánek's government identified Aeroflot as a security risk to the Czech Republic and excluded it from the privatization of Czech Airlines.
„Under Communism, I was called a supporter of Milton Friedman's economic school of thought, today they say I'm a Russian agent. Back then it was true, now it's a foul lie,“ said President Václav Klaus, commenting on the mounting domestic and foreign debate over whether - in light of his efforts to break the European Union and to promote Kremlin policies in all circumstances - he was a secret agent of the KGB or of Russia's current secret service organization. Foresters warned the public that a bark beetle calamity could beset Czech forests. A panel from a disassembled hayloft killed a construction worker in Březina near Plzeň.
„I'm barely recovering from that information,“ Defense Minister Vlasta Parkanová told the press after it emerged that Czech soldiers in Afghanistan had left their British allies in the lurch several times during combat operations in the rain and had returned to base, explaining that the operation is „too dangerous“ and that „such things are not in their job description“; after these experiences, the British refused to cooperate with the Czechs and sent the unit, under the command of the Danish, to guard unused warehouses. Newspapers reported that the sun is shining much less brightly than expected, and scientists have begun to examine what is happening. Petr Vachler, founder of the Český lev (Czech Lion) awards, took over the České filmové nebe („Czech Film Heaven“) website.

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